Hasta luego papá

Qué puta mierda papá, que de todos los sitios estés en el único en el que no puedo ir a visitarte y volver.
Qué desesperación hablarte así como al aire, así como solo en el pensamiento, por si me oyes, que es como se habla a la gente que ya no está. 

Qué horror recordar sondas, tratamientos, diagnósticos, sonidos de barandillas y delirios. 

Qué paz saber que te quiero como te quiero y haber tenido tiempo de darte la mano y repetírtelo aunque lo supieras.

Qué cosa más rara aprender a tenerte a mi lado en recuerdos, en el disfrutar de un trocito de sandía, en el sonreír con solo pensar en salitre o esparteras. 

Pero sobretodo, qué tristeza, aunque no sufras más, aunque nacemos y morimos, aunque estábamos en paz, aunque todos los aunque del mundo, qué tristeza joder, el decir adiós a tus brazos morenos, a tu llamarme Rosarillo, a lo bueno, lo malo, lo regular, lo extraordinario y lo cotidiano. 

Aquí me tienes, riéndome de día y llorando de noche, tatuándome mentalmente esa frase tan tuya de "aprieta los puños y tira palante", echándote de menos y asumiendo que así será lo que dure una vida: 

Un trocito de mí viajando contigo, un trocito de ti quedándose conmigo. 
Buen viaje papi, gracias por todo. 



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